Our Story

I've been in the process of writing this post for a few months now, but have been hesitant to do so out of fear of offending someone or someone fearing they have offended us. As much as I don't want those things to happen, we decided from the beginning to be transparent about our adoption journey in an effort to encourage others on similar journeys and I feel that it's important to write this. So here it goes...

Since we announced we were pregnant, we have received the most beautiful encouragement and congratulations. Our people were OVERJOYED for us and it made us even more excited to be welcoming this baby into our world. We started noticing a trend, however, in some people's reactions that made us wonder what they were thinking. People would say things like "This is a HUGE miracle!" or "I was praying this would happen for you!" Others would say things like "I told you! All you had to do was decide to adopt and it would happen!" It became very clear that a lot of people were assuming we were adopting because we weren't able to get pregnant.

Many people (some of my very favorite people in the world, actually) decide to adopt after experiencing infertility. Their journeys are incredible. The redemption that God brings when he weaves families together in this way is amazing. Adoption after infertility is a beautiful story, but it's not our story.

I wanted to share this truth for 3 very important reasons:

1) Transparency is huge to us. We want people to know our story, our failures, our victories. As difficult as it has been as times, we want to be real. We choose to be honest and open. We believe this is the only way that true community can happen. When we realized that people were understanding our story to be different than reality, we wanted to tell the true version.

2) Couples who have experienced infertility are some of the bravest and strongest people I've ever met. My friends and family who have dreamed their whole lives of carrying a baby in their wombs and suddenly aren't able to have an inner strength deeper than most people I know. I would be honored to be seen as one of these women, but I'm not one. I don't have their strength. I don't have their patience. I don't have their unwavering joy despite the loss suffered. I'm not worthy to be in their camp. 

3) Families come to the journey of adoption in many different ways. Some have biological children first then adopt, some experience infertility and decide to adopt after that, and some choose to adopt before or instead of trying to have biological children. The reasons that families adopt are far less important than the fact that they actually are adopting. So when someone tells you they are adopting, it's ok to not assume you know the reasons that led to that decision. In fact, it's encouraging to adoptive families to celebrate that decision simply because God led them to it, regardless of what road he used to get them there!

I don't know why God chose that April day in 2013 to tell us to adopt, but he did.

I don't know why he gave us a passion for adoption before giving us a passion for biological children, but he did.

I don't know why he put adoption on our hearts without us having to experience infertility, but he did.

And finally, I don't know why he decided to bless us with the gift of this baby in my belly before blessing us with our adopted child, but he did.

This is our story, and we love it. Not because we think it's better than anyone else's, but simply because its ours.

We're doubling!

Our family is about to double and we couldn't be more excited!

Here are some quick updates because I'm sure you have a lot of questions. 

Let's be honest, WE have a lot of questions too so we'll all just learn together...

Caribaby:

-We have a phone call with our agency next week to discuss our adoption process now that I'm pregnant. We're hoping for no delays, but we trust our agency completely and know they will make the best decisions for us and our babies. Ha! Babies. Plural. That's fun to type.

-As far as we know, we are still #8 on the list but again, who knows what the timeline will look like now. We most likely won't be bringing Caribaby home before Bellybaby arrives. 

-We are thinking about and praying for our sweet Caribaby everyday and cannot wait to see his/her sweet face soon!

Bellybaby:

-I am 12 weeks pregnant and the baby is the size of a plum!

-I've been so thankful to have minimal sickness, but not so thankful to have minimal energy. Growing a human is hard work! Naps and I are going back to our college relationship and we're picking up right where we left off.

-Bellybaby is due on October 20th, but Isaac (the movie lover) is REALLY hoping for October 21st. I'll let you figure this one out:

We've been SO blessed by everyone's sweet encouragement and excitement. We cannot fully express our joy and thankfulness for these two gifts who will be joining our family soon. Please continue to join us in prayer for perfect timing and good health for both littles. And also maybe throw in a little prayer for our sanity for when they arrive. And also thank God for our village. We love them. And need them. Don't leave us, village. Amen.

My Love

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to take some time to brag on my curly-headed, basketball-loving, guitar-playing husband. There’s no one else in the world I would rather walk this beautiful/gut-wrenching/joyful/heart-breaking/amazing road of adoption with than him, and there are so many reasons why. We’re new to the world of adoptive parents, but you would think Isaac had been preparing for it his whole life (and sometimes I doubt that God has been orchestrating this forever WHY?). Here is a list of things that prove why my baby daddy is the best ever.

-He didn’t flip out when I first mentioned adopting before trying to have biological kids. In fact, he was totally on board. I was prepared for him to shut me down immediately but he did no such thing. He was all in from the get-go.

-He’s basically the calmest person ever. I freak out about anything even remotely bad or remotely good in life. Anything above or below completely neutral causes an extreme reaction in me. He is my constant.

-I have spent my entire life coming up with baby names (I’m a girl, it’s what we do). I had list upon list upon list of names that I’ve doodled on notebooks since elementary school and was 100% sure we would use. Then one day out of the blue, he suggested a boy’s name and I melted. Completely melted. It was perfect. It was so completely us. My entire life had been devoted to naming our future children and in one instant he completed the task. Whether we use that name for Caribaby, a belly baby, or a goldfish, it’s perfect.

-He is SO excited to be a dad. Before we decided to adopt, I questioned whether or not he even wanted to be a father. Not because he ever expressed that, but because (again, remember who I am) I am 100% expressive about EVERY TINY DETAIL and he is calm about EVERY TINY DETAIL. He expresses his excitement different than I do, and I love him for it.

-When the emotional roller coaster of being on a waiting list was too much for me, he took over. He became the one to communicate with our agency and to check in when the time was right. He worked on the US Embassy issues and faxed every document imaginable to the Caribbean.

-He tells me often what a great mother he thinks I will be. Whenever I doubt my ability to handle whatever is to come in our future as parents, he reminds me that it’s not up to us to succeed, its up to us to let Jesus be the center and let him restore and reconcile all things back to himself in the most perfect way.

I love you, Schade. Thanks for being my favorite part of every day.

Number 8 feels oh so great!

Movin' on up!

I Am The Lord, Your God

In the fall of 2012, we built a house. Let’s be real, we didn’t actually build it ourselves. If that were the case we would be homeless at this point. Neither my husband nor I have much skill in the carpentry/electrical/plumbing/really anything remotely resembling construction area. I remember going to build houses in Mexico with my youth group in high school and it was always quite an interesting experience. My friends and I would help as much as we could but we usually ended up playing with the neighborhood kids. I think the homeowners were thankful when they saw us put our hammers and saws down in exchange for soccer balls and baby dolls.

Anyway, back to my original point. When we built our house, our amazing builders gave us a family Bible and encouraged us to read through the entire Bible in a year. We thought this would be a fun challenge and something really beneficial to us and our ministries, so we decided to do it through the year 2013.

I’m a pastor. My husband is a pastor. The Bible is kind of a big deal for us. But we had NO idea how impactful reading the Bible as an entire story would be for us as individuals, us as a couple, and us as adoptive parents. To see the gospel laid out from beginning (like legit Adam and Eve beginning) to end was incredible. We felt like we, for the first time, were reading a narrative instead of just bits and pieces of wisdom here and there.

One of the most influential aspects of scripture was a theme running through the Old Testament. After Moses frees the Israelite slaves from their captivity in Egypt and they begin wandering the desert, there are SO many times the Israelites panic and complain and question whether or not God is actually going to lead them to the Promised Land. They doubt his faithfulness because they cannot see the full plan laid out in front of them.

Pause here. THIS IS SO ME. I am all about following the Lord’s leading on things. I love stepping out in faith and taking risks that God has called me to take. I’m a little bit of a spontaneity-junkie so this kind of thing is right up my alley. HOWEVER, I am not all about walking in faith. I want to see the plan. I want to see the itinerary. I want to know what adventure is coming next. I want to see the destination and keep my eyes focused on it. The Israelites were all in when Moses said “It’s go time, grab that unleavened bread and peace out.” However, when they started wandering the wilderness and didn’t have the end in sight, they panicked and questioned God’s faithfulness.

When God said, “Hey Maggie & Isaac, it’s go time. Adopt a child. Start that paperwork. The time is now.” - we were all in. It wasn’t a long drawn out process of us going back and forth asking if we should or shouldn’t. We literally had one conversation about it and were so confident in God’s leading that we knew adoption was what we needed to do. I don’t say this to brag or to say “look how faithful we are,” because that is the furthest thing from the truth. As willing as I was to step out and begin the process, I was even more unwilling to trust him through it.

Throughout the Old Testament, we see the Israelites begging God for answers, questioning his plan, and demanding to know the destination. Each time this happens, God simply says “I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt.” He is referring them back to his greatest act of faithfulness in their lives. He is saying, “You are doubting that I know what I’m doing BUT remember who I am. I am the one who rescued you from slavery. I am the one who gave you freedom. I am the one who began this journey in the first place. I AM.”

When our adoption journey took turns that we weren’t prepared for, we were reminded of these passages, and reminded of God’s previous faithfulness. Every time something fell through, God referred us back to the times when he made a way out of something impossible. Every time we felt defeated, God referred us back to a time when he claimed victory. Every time we doubted that adoption was for us, God referred us back to the very moment when he opened our hearts to it.

We’re slow learners so we knew if we weren’t constantly reminded of the ways God was faithful, that we would lose sight of them. We put up a chalkboard in our house that we have to look at every time we walk into our bedroom. We started listing ways that God showed his unbelievable power and mercy throughout our process. Every day we are reminded of his faithfulness in our adoption journey. I want to never lose sight of that or forget those moments when he made a way for the impossible.

“I am the Lord your God who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.” Psalm 81.10

We've officially moved up to #9 on the waiting list...

Top 10!

Single digits!

Merry Christmas to us!

The Great Wait

Remember that time I was reading a scripture about waiting on the Lord while on stage at our first Advent service this past Sunday in front of hundreds of people and it didn’t hit me until exactly THAT moment that this season of waiting was so unbelievably powerful for me that I started crying and could barely even finish the sentence? Ahh yes. Just another typical “Maggie has no emotional control whatsoever” moment. Surely that’s a scientific symptom of adoption, right? I recently described it to someone like this – If at any regular moment in life your emotional state is at a 5, I basically start crying if it jumps anywhere above a 6 or below a 4. Happy about red holiday cups returning to Starbucks? I cry. Sad that my favorite character died on Walking Dead? Instant tears. Excited that my husband put Christmas lights on our house?  Hot mess.  I’m basically a ticking emotional time bomb.

I digress.

I’ve never taken Advent that seriously until this year. I think it’s because I never really had a grasp on waiting until this year. Yes, I’ve waited for an upcoming vacation, and I’ve waited for holidays, and I’ve waited for my food at a restaurant before (but let’s be real, this is why I go to Chick-fil-a. Seriously, do they have ninjas working in the kitchen or what? My food is ready before I even get my ketchup), but never in a way like this. The uncertainty of the future does not do well for my gotta-have-a-plan mind, but the beauty of what God is teaching me through it cannot be overlooked.

I was recently reading through Luke 1 and saw something that I’ve passed over multiple times before. In this chapter, Luke is telling of the pregnancies of Mary and Elizabeth and their time together before each of their babies were born. Elizabeth is welcoming Mary into her home and says the following statement,

“Blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.”

This hit me like a ton of bricks. Elizabeth doesn’t say “blessed is she who has already seen the fulfillment and because of that trusts that God knew what He was doing.” No. She says, “blessed is she who believed.” Mary has no clue what the heck God is doing right now. She doesn’t understand the plan. She doesn’t know what this whole thing is going to play out to be. BUT she knew what God had spoken to her, and she trusted Him based on His word.

As a Jew, she was told there would be a Messiah.

As a pregnant teenager, she was told there would be a baby that makes the difficult journey worth it.

As a daughter of the King, she was told there would be redemption.

She didn’t demand proof. She didn’t ask to see the plan laid out in front of her. She simply said, “Let it be to me according to your word.”

Whatever you’re waiting for this Advent season, remember this:

The Lord has spoken. He promises hope. He promises peace. He promises joy. He promises love.

Blessed is she who believes there will be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.